Friday, April 23, 2010

Oh Holy Mother Virgin Mary!!!

Circa March 2010
Hostel Room, a college in Chennai

Roomie
: Are you a Virgin?

Me: What do you think?

Roomie: I think you're not.

Me: Then I'm not.

Roomie: Tell Na!!! Are you?

Me: What do you think?

Roomie: You are! You are a virgin. Where could you possibly have had the time. You are.

Me: Then I am.

Puzzled roomie.

What seems to be the problem here Me-lord? Whose virginity is it anyways?

The Bride diaries continue.

Cards and Bilinguals

So the preparations are on . FULL SWING. No Kidding.

Today was the make-a-list-of-long-forgotten-relatives-with-weird-sounding-names-from-even-weirder-places-day.

I just read names such as Babua, Babban, Bachchan (Not Amitabh. Nor Abhishek. And definitely no Aishwarya) in the diary handed down by local relatives. As is the case, when there is a wedding in the family, someone definitely has the names of these super-extended family members and their addresses to boot. Today was the day I sorted that out and to ensure that no one is forgotten (even if you had conveniently ignored their existence for the last couple of years, weddings are the time you call on everyone from Pimpri to Palau. Coz we are Indians. We are like that only).

I don't get this concept at all. Why invite people you hardly know or even met? Or even heard your parents talk about? Why Why Why? It is like a feast and people want to be invited even if they won't come. Damn!

So, the cards have to be sent out sometime in the first week of May. I am just about beginning to write the matter that needs to be printed on them. The English one is done (Angrez kahin ki as mum would want to label me. Not my fault you sent me to an English Medium school where we were reprimanded for speaking in our mother tongues). I'm struggling with the Hindi one and Mum asks me to look at the old cards that we've received.

Looked at them. Sigh. I'm ashamed to say that even with a score of 90+ in Hindi during my graduation, I don't understand what the card is all about.

Something something 'Maangalik'. I freak out and ask if it means the same Maangalik, that inauspicious omen that we hear about so much in the TV serials. Mum says it means something good and all wedding cards have them. I cross check four others to find similar text. Relief. I now proceed to write the Hindi part of the text. Since my folks want a bilingual card. Sigh. If I'd have it my way, I'd just write:

Dearest All,

I'm getting hitched to my lover-boy. Please come and visit us on June 20th, 2010 to stuff your faces with good food and please don't suggest inappropriate stuff such as "Oh! You roamed around naked in my house when you were a kid". Of course you'll come, No? It's a SUNDAY.

Come watch us get hitched. And someone, please remember to feed us.

Love,

Bride-to-be.

If only it was that simple.

Ok. Back to the cards now.

P.S: Most 'Maarwadi' cards I've seen haven't mentioned names of the women of the house. Apart from the bride that is. SAD. Why is that?? Phhhhbbbbttt!!!!

Ten days to 24

Eh!

Just realized I'll be Twenty four in Ten days. So, what's the big deal? Eh?

College just got over and I've come back taking an early break: FOR SHOPPING.

I didn't really bother with placements knowing that no one would hire me if I told them I'll start working only in July: After the wedding and the Honey-sun-moon-stars are all done and over with.

Oh. Sorry. I didn't really introduce myself.

I'm a bride-to-be. That's what everyone insists on calling me these days. "Dulhan". Heh. Right.

They tend to forget that I have a name, which incidentally means 'Remembrance'. Heh. That's that. And I'm (correction: WILL BE. As on my 24th Birthday) a Post Graduate Diploma Holder in Journalism. Like I wanted to do that. Believe me. If you want to write for the love of writing, Journalism is a bad idea. As far as I see it, IT IS.

The thing is: The purpose of this blog is:

The wedding preparations are driving me crazy. It is always a lot more fun being a part of other weddings in the family. Definitely NO FUN, when it is your own and you seem to be worrying about the minutest of details.

So here world. My worries and trials and irksomeness are yours. For the next few months.

And Oh. Less than 2 months to go. For the day I marry my best friend and my love.

Here goes:

THE CONFESSIONS OF A BRIDE-T0-BE